Kaye’s Musings

Last Saturday, we laid to rest our Nanay Minia, my papa’s mom who succumbed to pulmocardiac arrest because of aortic aneurism, coupled with pneumonia and multiorgan failure.

It was on March 2 when she was brought to Medical Center Manila because of pneumonia. My papa and his eldest sister brought her to the hospital. She was very depressed at the time because prior to this, she was diagnosed to have aortic aneurism, the reason she was having difficulty breathing. The doctors told her they could not operate on her because she would not be able to tolerate it anymore. She was already 75 years old, a diabetic with just one lung. You see, her other lung was taken out 50 years ago, when she was still in her 20s, because of a cyst.

Knowing they could not operate on her caused depression. The doctors just advised complete bed rest. On Tuesday, March 3, I visited her in her hospital room. When I saw her, I could not believe how fast she aged. The last time I saw her was during my aunt’s birthday in January. At the time, though she looked thinner than ever, she was nevertheless perky, even volunteering to take Cassie in her arms. But this time, she was very frail looking, and it didn’t help that she was obviously having a hard time talking. When she saw me enter the room, she immediately directed me to sit on her hospital bed, which I dutifully obeyed. That night, I believed in my heart she would be ok, that this too, shall pass. But when it was time for us to leave, as Bong and I were kissing her, she told us over and over, “alagaan nyo ang mga bata, wag nyong pababayaan ang mga bata.”

I felt sadness overwhelm me. Here I was thinking she would be ok, but it was as if she was already giving us her last requests. It was not anything material, instead, she just wanted us to make sure the kids would all be ok. It was very difficult to fight the tears welling in my eyes as we all filed out of the room. Outside, a table with the eleventh station of the cross image displayed was all I could look at as I cried silently. I was not yet prepared to let go of Nanay. I wanted to bring the kids to her so she could hug and kiss them till she doesn’t want to anymore. As I looked at Jesus’ crucified image, I could only pray Nanay would make it through. Because I wanted her to enjoy the kids. Because I wanted to see her again, alive and happy, her usual self. Because I was not yet ready to lose her. I don’t think any of us were.

Over the next few days, her condition worsened. The next days saw her constantly drowsy, an effect of her erratic blood sugar levels, which went from a high of less than 300 to as low as 65.

On Sunday morning, March 8, she was brought to the ICU. She went in coma, and no matter how much insulin they pumped in her body, it never went down from 495. There, she was given maximum medications, and 24-48 hours to live. When we got there, there were so many tubes connected to her, and her arms bruised due to the frequent blood pressure taking and drawing of blood samples. They were monitoring her blood pressure which never went up from its 60/40 reading. Her heart rate remained at 125. I asked the hospital chaplain to anoint her with the holy oil. After, I kissed her, and told her I love her, and said sorry I could not bring the kids to see her.

We left that night, praying she would be better. I was asking God for a miracle so she could go back to living with us.

The next day, Monday, her blood pressure went up to 100/60. I thought it could not have happened if it weren’t for God’s miracle. The doctors said she would undergo dialysis if her condition improved immensely. That night, we offered a mass for her and I prayed she would get well.

On Tuesday noon, while in the office, I received that dreaded text message from my sister Anne. In it, she said my papa text messaged her to ask that we all go to the hospital because Nanay’s condition worsened. The minute I got it, I knew things could never get better. I hurriedly left the office while praying Nanay would hold on ‘til we got to the hospital. I could no longer ask her to live for us if it would mean pain. I just asked that her transition to eternal life would be painless for her. After all, she’s had too much. I got to the hospital at 1:45p.m. Nanay could not wait, and passed away at 1:42p.m. I just saw the heart monitor with the steady line, the kind you see in movies. I couldn’t bring myself to ask papa how nanay was, but he told me she passed away peacefully. I just quietly kissed and hugged her, and said my goodbyes.

We held the wake at Arlington in Araneta Ave. From Tuesday to Friday, there was a steady stream of visitors—friends and relatives who joined us in our grief. There were many who joined us as we laid her to rest last Saturday. I realized how comforting it was to know you had family and friends to be with you in times of sorrow.

But above all, I also realized how infinitely good God is. I was asking for a miracle for Nanay. But God also gently told me He had been giving miracles eversince that day Nanay was operated on 50 years ago. Her doctors told her she would live for 5 more years after the operation. At the time, my papa and his sisters were still very young.SoInstead of just 5 years, God gave her ten times that. How generous could that be? In all those 50 years, not only did Nanay see her children grow up, she also witnessed us, her grandchildren, growing up, finishing our studies, getting jobs, getting married and having families of our own. She did not just see her grandchildren, she got to hold her great grandchildren and be with them. God was very generous, indeed. So generous, He gave Nanay 50 more years to live and be with us. So now that God has decided He wants to be with her in heaven, who are we to complain?

Thank you, Lord, for the miracles You constantly perform in our lives. Thank you for Nanay Minia, and thank You for cradling her in Your arms.